


Only Us...and Jared

by nameless_wanderer



Series: A Worthy Explanation [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Underage Drinking, cute gay one-shot, drunk jared gets emotional and rambles about evan, galaxy gals first date, idk its a fair amount of fluff, part of the same AU as A Worthy Explanation, tldr Evan doesnt lie to the murphy's, zoe and alana have to deal with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameless_wanderer/pseuds/nameless_wanderer
Summary: Alana's first date with Zoe Murphy did not go as planned. She was almost late, she couldn't figure out what to wear, she couldn't get Evan Hansen off her mind, and just when things seemed to be going well, Jared Kleinman called her, drunk. Needless to say, this was not a normal date. But maybe normal is a bit overrated.





	Only Us...and Jared

Alana Beck was never late. If anything, she was too early most of the time. But for once in her life, she was really cutting it close. Today was her first date with Zoe, the girl she'd had a crush on for longer than she could remember, and she was trying to decide what outfit to wear. A fancy dress on the first date was too formal. But her normal outfit seemed too casual. And no matter what clothes she pulled from the back of the closet, she couldn't find the right outfit. She had tried on nearly every outfit she had, even desperately throwing on a hoodie and sweatpants in the hope that it might look "ironic" or something. It didn't.

The truth was, everything about this evening was nerve wracking. They had pushed the date back a week after Evan had fallen from a tree and landed himself in the hospital, and though he was doing better and had been able to leave the hospital earlier that week, she still felt guilty, like she could be doing more for him. Not to mention she should be working on figuring out what to do to get the orchard off the ground again. And planning the grand opening ceremony. And she had been neglecting nearly a dozen other extracurriculars to focus on that. Maybe it would be better if she cancelled.

She shook her head. No. It was too late. She couldn't inconvenience Zoe. But she had to do something to clear her head, unburden her conscience. A quick phone call to Evan couldn't hurt, right? She found Evan in her phone contacts and waited anxiously as the phone rang. Soo enough, a timid voice came on the other end of the phone.

"Alana?"

"Hi Evan!" she said, trying to mask her nervousness. "I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you're doing ok, see how your leg is."

He seemed taken aback. "I'm fine, leg's still broken, what are you… why… Alana, is something wrong?"

It was Alana's turn to be surprised. "No, nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

"Because tonight's your date with Zoe, if I remember correctly, and you're calling me about…thirty minutes before the date is supposed to start. So what's wrong?"

Alana stood for a few seconds, unsure if she should tell Evan. It only took two seconds for her to blurt everything out. "I'm freaking out and I want to cancel because I should be doing so many different things but instead I'm panicking over what to wear."

Evan stifled a laugh on the other end. "I'm sorry, but you're _Alana Beck_. You have the entire senior year planned out. How do you not have an outfit for this?"

"I have outfits for almost every important occasion too! Senior photos, retakes on the off chance those went bad, all winter holidays I could possibly celebrate, acceptance speeches, honors assembly, graduation, even after graduation party outfit!"

"How did 'first date with Zoe Murphy' not make the list of important outfits?"

"I honestly never thought I'd get that far." Evan laughed on the other end. "I don't know what to do."

"Alana, listen to me. She's not going on a date with your outfit, she's going on a date with you. You're worrying about it too much. Trust me. I tried to talk to Zoe last year but I couldn't do it because my hands were sweaty. Zoe doesn't care about that stuff. Just… don't worry so much."

"Evan, you're one of my closest friends and I love you and care about you. But that is such a guy thing to say. First dates are important to make an impression!"

"Fine! I think you should go with that cute dress with the stars on it. It's not too dressy, it's not too casual, and if Zoe is wearing just a normal outfit with jeans, which she will be, the two of you will match." Alana was a little dumbfounded. She hadn't known Evan would pay attention to her outfits, let alone be able to come up with such a clear solution. "Alana? You still there?"

"Yes, I am. That's actually… well-reasoned."

"Thanks. Now hurry, you don't want to be late."

She chuckled. "Alana Beck is never late."

"GO!"

Alana hung up, quickly threw on the dress Evan had suggested. She couldn't believe she'd looked right past it. She'd gotten it as a gift ages ago. The stars on the dress were arranged in constellations matching the positions of those in the night sky, and they even faintly glowed in the dark. She put on the dress, and looking in the mirror she knew that it was the right dress. Evan had once again helped her when she'd needed him, but in a way she'd never expected.

Thinking about all of this, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. Evan had liked Zoe too, after all, and she had felt that they would've been a good couple. Should she really be doing this? She probably shouldn't have even called him, it must've seemed like she was rubbing it in or something. She sighed. Evan had insisted he wasn't interested in Zoe anymore, but finding out that Zoe had kissed him didn't really boost her confidence. And she had no idea what exactly was happening between Evan and Jared but it seemed really, _really_ complicated. Was she selfish for wanting to be happy in a relationship right now? She shook her head. She could think about all of this on her way over. She only had twenty-five minutes to get there.

She double checked that she had everything she needed, and then triple checked. Once she was confident she wasn't forgetting anything, she headed out to her car, plugged the address into her phone, and drove off.

She'd talked to Evan a lot recently. He had always said they were alike, and she was inclined to agree. She had always wondered if they could be friends. So finding out he liked Zoe too had not been a pleasant experience. On the one hand, they had yet another thing in common. On the other, it meant she would have to compete with a particularly close acquaintance for a chance with Zoe. But to her surprise, he sat back. He didn't interact with her as much, made excuses to leave the two girls alone. And somehow, on a random Sunday night she had managed to make out enough words around Zoe to ask her out. And then she found out Zoe had kissed Evan, and everything seemed to spin out of control.

She tried not to get too lost in her own thoughts and focused on driving. Everything was going to be fine. Evan had sounded incredibly disappointed when he found out she and Zoe had postponed their date. And she suddenly remembered what he'd said when she asked for the millionth time if he was ok with it.

_"Ok, look Alana, even if I still liked Zoe—which I don't!—I'm not ready for a romantic relationship. Not to be too conceited, but realizing how what I had done hurt you guys, my friends, it-it horrified me. I mean, I-I mean I want to get better. And I'm gonna—I swear, I'm gonna try to get better. But as long as it's still a possibility… I dunno, I can't risk hurting any sort of romantic partner that way. Zoe and I would be good for, what, maybe a week? Before I do something so awful it ruins our friendship forever. And I just don't see relationship drama getting in the way of your friendship with Zoe. Trust me, you two are better for each other that she and I ever could've been."_

She nodded, Evan's affirmation ringing in her ear. She turned on the radio, and let her mind focus on driving. Several minutes later, she pulled into a parking space and speedwalked across the parking lot. As she walked up to the entrance of the small café, she saw her.

Zoe looked up, smiled and gave a small wave. Evan had been right, she was wearing a pair of jeans with stars scribbled on the cuffs. But her shirt seemed a little… dressy? Had she dressed up for this too? Alana couldn't hope the answer to that was 'yes.' She jogged to meet up with Zoe.

"Hey."

"Hey there. I got dropped off here early, been waiting for a few minutes. I was afraid you were going to be late," she joked.

Alana laughed. "Alana Beck is never late. In fact, I'm…" she pulled out her phone and looked at the lock screen, "two minutes early."

Zoe nodded, a wide grin on her face. "My apologies." She looked Alana up and down. "I'm seriously in love with your dress right now, it's adorable."

"Oh, thank you! I love your shirt. And the stars on your jeans."

Zoe chuckled. "Did 'em myself." Alana couldn't tell, but she thought Zoe might've been blushing. "Ok, before we head in can we agree that we don't have to like, buy salads to pretend we don't eat a lot or whatever the heterosexuals think girls do on dates?"

Alana raised an eyebrow. "What if I'm just in the mood for salad?"

"Then I'll know you're ordering it because you have a great taste in salads and not because you're trying to impress me."

Alana smiled. "Sounds good."

The two walked in. They looked at the menu and pointed excitedly at different items. They talked about various food preferences, making small talk, sharing a few funny anecdotes, doing what Alana figured would be typical first date stuff. But when the food came out, the conversation suddenly faltered. Alana wanted to talk more, but her mind kept going back to Evan. Her fork kept moving around the plate, never fully picking anything off her plate.

Zoe looked at her, perplexed. "What's wrong Alana?"

She looked up at Zoe. She stole a few glances down at her plate, unsure what to say, before sighing and deciding to tell the truth. "I can't stop thinking about Evan."

Zoe laughed. "I'm sorry, it's just I didn't think I'd have to worry about that with you. If anything, I thought you'd be worried about me focusing on Evan."

Alana chuckled, but shook her head. "I'm just worried about him. I mean, is it wrong for us to be having fun while he's still trying to get better? I don't know, I just…I feel off."

Alana half expected Zoe to laugh at her for being so concerned, but she just looked at her, understanding, and reached across the table to take her hand. "I ended up talking with Evan about this a bit. A lot. Maybe too much." Alana smiled. So she really was putting effort into this. "And I said some of the stuff you were saying, maybe thinking. I told him that it felt selfish that we should do this while he's still recovering from this. And he said each time that it was fine, that he was happy for us, even excited. But I must've said one too many times. Because eventually, he said 'fine! You wanna know what will make me happy?' And I said yes, I literally just said that dude, and he said 'you going on that date with Alana. You've been through so much recently, and you guys deserve to be happy, to have some fun.' So I said ok, and I didn't ask him again."

Alana looked up and smiled. "I guess so. He seemed confused and disappointed when he found out we postponed to be there to help him."

"Exactly. We're doing the best thing for Evan by eating moderately expensive food and having an enjoyable evening with each other."

The conversation loosened then. They laughed, ate, talked about whatever came to mind. They argued over who would pay; Zoe won ("My parents are rich, spending it frivolously on food is the best possible use of my money."). The two got up and began walking around, looking in store windows, popping in a few to look at whatever they were selling, and just talking. They had been at this for about fifteen minutes when Alana felt the conversation slow again. It was fortuitously (or perhaps unfortunately) at this exact moment that she realized she was getting a call. She apologized to Zoe and pulled out her phone, surprised by the contact. She unlocked the phone and answered it.

"Jared?"

"ALANAAAA! Wazz uppppp bisssshhh??"

"Um, not much? I'm with Zoe, Jared are you ok?"

"Ohhhhhmigod ohmigod it’s the date tonight, riiiight? You guys are so cute and gay and adorable together and you're a fantastic couple."

"Jared what's going on?"

Zoe tapped her shoulder. "Why's Jared calling you?"

"I'm not sure. Didn't say. Just said that the two of us are cute and gay so…"

"Let me talk to him." Alana gave Zoe the phone. "Jared?" Alana could hear Jared's drawn out "ZOOOEEEEEEE MURPHY" from where she was standing, it was so loud. "Yeah, we're kinda in the middle of something, what's going on? Uh-huh, I know we're cute and gay…yeah, well…wait, Jared are you drunk right now? Where are you? Is anybody there with you? Ok, I'm heading over right now." She hung up, gave the phone back to Alana and rolled her eyes. "Looks like Evan isn't the mess of a friend we should've been worried about ruining our evening." She gave an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, I have to head over to his house. I didn't mean for something like this to ruin our nigh and you don't have to come, I don't want you to have to deal with drunk Jared, he's a _pain_."

Alana shook her head. "He's my friend too, and he needs our help. I can drive us there."

Zoe smiled and nodded. "I'm sorry I volunteered to go over there."

Alana shrugged. "I'm sorry I answered the phone."

* * *

 

Zoe pounded on the door. "Jared, it's us." Alana felt uncomfortable standing outside of Jared's house. She realized she'd never really been to Jared's house, and she hadn't exactly been invited. But his parents were gone and Zoe thought he needed people who cared about him with him tonight. She looked back at her car in the driveway, wondering if she and Zoe should just leave. She turned back to the front door and a few seconds later it swung open.

"ZOE! ALANA!" He ran out, barefoot and gave huge hugs to the two girls. "It's my lovely lesbians."

Zoe pushed him off of her. "Yeah, ok, I'm bi so—"

"Potato, tomato. OH! I'M WATCHING PARKS AND REC, YOU HAVE TO COME IN AND WATCH WITH ME!" He grabbed Zoe's arms and pulled her into the house. Alana hesitantly followed, closing the door behind her.

Zoe shook him off. "Ok, Jared, you're like ridiculously, disgustingly drunk right now."

"No I'm not." He hiccupped. "So what if I am?"

Alana frowned. "Jared, you should be careful with alcohol. You remember what happened last time."

"Evan jumped from a tree." He blurted.

Zoe sputtered. "No, he fell, and I mean she didn't mean—"

"Whatever, he's still got a broken leg and I'm still the cause."

Alana shook her head. "Jared, you know it's more complicated than that, it was—"

"AGH! You guys talk too much! Just—" He groaned in frustration. "Look you two are together here and it's adorable but I'm alone so I snuck into the liquor cabinet so…please just watch Parks and Rec with me?"

Zoe sighed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she turned back to Alana. But Alana understood. She confidently smiled and nodded at Zoe.

"Lead the way, I guess Jared."

"Yeah, yeahyeahyeah it's—" he rapidly pointed behind him. "TV! Family room!" He ran towards the room. Zoe and Alana followed, walking in just in time to see him jump and land on the couch. "It's so soft…" he said, brushing his hand on a pillow. The two sat down next to each other on the floor in front of the couch.

"Which episode are we watching?"

Jared lit up. "Treat yo' self two thousand 'leven!" he sang behind them."

Alana leaned in towards Zoe. "Is there anything I need to know for this to make sense?"

Zoe thought about it. "Most of it is self-explanatory. The one thing that might be important to note is that Ben and Leslie—I'll point them out in a second—like each other a lot, but they can't date for complicated reasons that basically prevent Leslie from dating Ben."

"Hey, like me and Evan," Jared said. The two girls looked at each other uncomfortably, but remained silent and watched the episode. Alana had to admit she found the episode humorous. She really identified with Leslie's work ethic and her insistence on doing everything to a perfect standard. A few minutes later, Jared sat up suddenly.

"I'mma join you on the floor." With that he slid onto the floor, right between Alana and Zoe.

"We could've joined you on the couch," Zoe said.

"But flooooor…" was his only response. He looked over at Zoe, then Alana. "Hey, your lips!"

Alana blushed. "What about them?"

He smiled. "They're like… really cool colored." She blushed harder; she didn't really like people pointing out her vitiligo, and she was embarrassed he'd done it in front of Zoe. "No, no, it's like my eyes."

Alana tilter her head. "What?"

"Alana. Alana. Alana. Look in my eyes." He brought his face right to hers.

"I can't focus if you're this close, you goofball."

"That's an adorable insult," he said moving his head back a little. He took a breath, as if about to say something, but immediately exhaled, having apparently forgotten about. "What was I saying?"

Alana raised an eyebrow. "My lips. Your eyes?"

His face lit up. "Yes. Yes! Yes. My eyes. Look. Look closely."

"I am." As she looked, she noticed something interesting. "Your right iris—"

"Sectoral heterochromia."

"No way!" Zoe said. He nodded and turned to her, bringing his face ridiculously close to hers. Alana watch the entire scene with confused amusement. "That's awesome!"

Jared paused. "How'd you know what it was?" he asked.

Zoe looked down. "Connor had it too."

"No fucking way."

"Check his yearbook pictures."

Alana looked over. "Zoe, are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just hard sometimes." She chuckled. "At least I have you and this idiot as friends now."

Jared began laughing loudly, and gesturing wildly to the others. "It's funny, because I bonded with you—" he pointed at Alana, "—over our super gay crushes who we were sure didn't like us back. And with you—" he turned to Zoe, pointing at her now, "—well, I was in love with Evan and he was in love with you, and you don't love him back, and he doesn't love me back, and why doesn't he love me back?" His voice started shaking and his eyes began watering at these last words. Instinctively, Alana wrapped her arm around Jared, and Zoe scooted closer.

"Jared," Zoe began, "you know the situation is much more complicated than that. He loves you and needs you as his friend."

Jared stifled a sob. "I know, I just…I love him so much, and I gave him a panic attack when I kissed him. He deserves better than me…"

Zoe shook her head. "Jared, you're a good guy. You act like an asshole, but any guy would be lucky to date you, even Evan."

"He hates me. And I don't blame him. He's so perfect, and I'm so messed up."

Zoe scoffed. "He's not perfect. He can get rude and downright mean when he wants to. And as far as messed up goes, Evan understands messed up pretty damn well. Or have you forgotten how he broke his leg."

"But that was my fault! And-and-and I love him so much and I hurt him and it just hurt he doesn't love me back and I'm just being stupid, but I want him to feel the same…"

Alana cleared her throat a little. "Jared? I think he does feel the same."

"But he doesn't want to date me. He barely wants to be friends with me."

Alana shook her head. "That's not true in the slightest. Look, I don't know what you guys have talked about, but whatever you're thinking isn't the reason he doesn't want to date you."

"Whadduhya mean?"

"He's terrified of hurting us. He didn't realize how much we cared about him when he…wrote that letter. And he's only just getting better. He doesn't want to risk hurting someone like that while they're dating. Sure, his medications seem to be working but side effects take a while to observe, and he wants to be sure he's not gonna feel that way again."

Jared blew a raspberry. "Yeah, he said that so he wouldn't be a dick though."

Alana looked at him. "He's not dating anyone because he's terrified of ruining the friendships he already has."

"How can you ruin a friendship with cuddling and kissing and sex?" Jared practically yelled, turning his head wildly and throwing his hands about.

"Jared, look at me." He scoffed but obeyed. "If anything happened to your friendship because Evan screwed up a romantic relationship with you, he would never forgive himself. And he's terrified of ruining his friendships as it is. You need to give him time to realize that he's not going to hurt us again, that he's not going to ruin his relationship with any of us. I promise, it has nothing to do with how he feels about you."

Zoe nodded in agreement. "You know he thinks the world of you. Prolly loves you more than he loved me."

He looked over at Zoe. "Really?"

"Yeah."

He wiped his nose and sniffed. He looked at both of his friends, and suddenly his eyes popped open in realization. "Hey, your dress has stars, and so do your jeans! It's like you're matching!"

Zoe shrugged. "A happy accident."

"You two are fucking adorable I hope you make each other happy and Alana you'd better make me your best man at your guys's wedding." He gasped. "You should do a galaxy space theme! That would be so cool for a wedding!"

Alana's eyes opened wide, and she blushed profusely. "Whoa, Jared, calm down we're literally on our first date."

"Which you kinda interrupted," Zoe added. "Also, can I use your restroom, I gotta pee."

Jared nodded. "Down the hall, second door on the left." Zoe stood up and followed his drunken instructions which somehow miraculously led to the right destination, leaving Jared and Alana alone.

"Hey, can I tell you a secret?" Jared asked. Alana tilted her head. "Don't tell Zoe." He blinked. "Or Evan for that matter. Come closer." Alana closed what little of a gap remained between the two of them. "I climbed the tree." Alana leaned back, confused and concerned.

"What do you mean?"

"I went back to the orchard on Sunday. And I climbed the tree Evan fell out of. He said the view was spectacular, and he was right. It was fucking beautiful. You should show Zoe sometime."

Alana shook her head. "Jared, you could've hurt yourself. Call me before doing anything that stupid again."

"Ok, _mom_." The two stared in silence for a moment before bursting into laughter. It took Jared a second to calm down, but when he did, he became incredibly serious. "Were you for real about Evan? Did he really say that?"

Alana nodded. "He cares about you so much Jared. Don't misinterpret that." He nodded, seemingly understanding. Suddenly and without warning, he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you for coming Alana." She squeezed him back.

"No problem."

"Hey, who's the one that's supposed to be on a date with her?" Zoe had appeared from behind. She winked at Alana and sat down next to her.

"My b, boo," Jared replied, removing his arms from Alana.

"Yeah, yeah, just hit play again on the episode."

The three watched the show late into the night, laughing and quoting and just having a bit of fun. It got to the point where Jared was nodding off. They couldn't get him to walk to his room, but they at least got him to lie on the couch. They quietly left his house and got into Alana's car, heading to Zoe's house to end one of the strangest nights the two of them had ever experienced. But as they drove, a rogue thought entered Alana's mind and she couldn't let go of it.

"Why did you kiss Evan?" Zoe snapped her head to look at Alana. "I know we kinda sorta implicitly agreed not to discuss it, and I know I shouldn't ask, but I wouldn't be asking if I didn't really think it was important to know. So why?"

Zoe shrugged. "I thought he could be something I needed. But I was wrong. I was reckless and careless with everybody's feelings and that one stupid action hurt all four of us. But I'm mostly sorry it hurt you."

"How do you know you're not wrong about me?"

"Because I know what I'm getting into. I don't need you to fill a void or be a replacement. I want you because you're funny and smart and cool, and I like the way you make me feel."

"Oh. Ok." She pulled into the driveway and parked. "We're here. Do you want me to walk you to your door?"

Zoe shook her head. "I don't want my parents snooping, getting any ideas."

Alana just nodded. "This was nice."

"Sorry it got cut off by Jared."

Alana laughed. "You know, remove Jared's drunk emotional rambling about Evan and watching TV with friends doesn't sound like such a bad date."

"You're not wrong." The two looked at each other. "I like your dress. Is it just me or are the stars glowing?"

Alana nodded. "They're supposed to be a little glow-in-the-dark."

"That's fantastic." The two waited in the car, in silence. Steadily, Zoe moved her head forward, and Alana found herself mirroring. Before either could fully realize what was happening, their lips met and they kissed. It wasn't by any means perfect, but for Alana everything about that moment was enough for her. The pulled away from each other, blushing and not looking at each other. "So can we do this again sometime?"

Alana nodded. "I'd like that."

"Ok." Zoe unbuckled opened the door, and got out. Before she closed the door she leaned in to look at the driver. "Good night, Alana."

Alana nodded. "Good night, Zoe." Zoe closed the door, and Alana watched as she walked up the driveway and into the house, making sure the front door closed behind Zoe before she put the car in reverse and drove away. When she got home, she practically skipped upstairs and jumped on her bed, smashing a pillow on her face in excitement, thinking all night about her first kiss of many with Zoe Murphy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Kian (lostfanboy) for telling me to start with this prompt out of all the AWE one-shot ideas I had. There are two kinda subtle references to two of my fav fics in this, one is just a title drop pretty much, and the other is just a similar scene to another fic, with a few of the characters changed. I'll prolly update these notes and tags tomorrow but its 1 am and I just finished writing this and im tired so good night, hope you enjoy fluffy galaxy gals.


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